Boy Problems

Okay, this is a story that happened last week and it is definitely one that needs to be recorded for future embarrassment and all that good stuff.

I was inside working on Monday afternoon and the boys were outside playing and Anita was was outside cleaning up ... I guesss... I'm not exactly sure what Anita was doing. It's rather immaterial actually, so let's move on.

Suddenly, I hear crying and I can tell it is Conner. It's not the "I just got in trouble" kind of crying, but instead the "I'm hurt bad" kind of SCREAMING crying. I ran to the door, and Anita is carrying him in the house in her arms and of course, this immediately freaks me out. It is times like these when I wonder how mothers can be EMT workers, or first responders. They tend to freak out, act like every incident is the worst possible thing that has ever happened on the planet and at least in Anita's case, she doesn't TELL ME ANYTHING when I first ask, "What's wrong?" She just stands there horror stricken and panicky. I mean, as I'm running behind her, I want the rundown like they do on ER as the doctors are running beside the stretcher on the way to the OR. You know, giving me the vitals machine gun style so I know what were dealing with. Anyway... back to the story.

Anita gets Conner to the living room and as she is laying him down she tells me that he was playing with the dumptruck and running behind it when it hit a hole, and he flipped over it, but the back part hit him in the groin. She said that he said he hurt his penis when she asked what was hurting.

Okay, so, now we at least have a description of the problem. The next issue was to determine how badly he was hurt. With him lying on the floor, Anita pulled his pants down and then started to remove his underwear so she could check out what was wrong. As soon as they were down and she started to move toward him he held his hands out in the air and screamed,
"DON'T TOUCH THE PENIS!".

Anita and I caught each others eyes at that point and tried HARD not to laugh. Eventually, we calmed him down enough to get a look and see that he did actually cut it a little and it was bleeding just a little bit. Poor guy. I meanwhile was kind of squirming and not really wanting to focus on the issue. We got a wet rag to put on it to at least help stop the bleeding and to clean him up and of course, that hurt and he screamed again, "DON'T TOUCH THE PENIS!" repeatedly.

Zach was so worried about him, he came over and patted him on the belly, and Conner - still crying -, said, "Don't touch me!" and so we asked him if he would like to hold Zach's hand. It was so cute, Zach just sat there and held Conner's hand while we cleaned him up.